snichel..out of nowhere

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

baclaran church

since i'm not really that busy at work (not that i always am, i might as well put into writing some of my thoughts, regardless if it's good or bad..nyay!

i went to baclaran church yesterday, i dunno why, i just felt that i had to, thus finding myself in front of the church, murmuring some wishful thinking only me can decipher. i just felt sad, lonely, alone, pathetic yesterday, i felt i had to go somewhere that though i wasn't that familiar with the area, i got all the courage i had to commute alone once again, i wasn't that bad yesterday, i didn't ask for any direction, i guess it was because at the back of my mind, i was so eager and decided as to where i was up to (i must be so lonely then!).

well, i didn't really enter the church per se, i settled instead to the little chapel wherein you could light as many candles as you want, i got 6 candles, and lighted it one by one, with a little prayer in each aspect of my life (i won't go into details anymore, 'twas a secret already between me and the big boss above).

suffice to say, i felt great after that, putting my excess baggage behind, letting go of those not so good events, situations, and even people, for me to be able to start a merry new year (hey, chinese new year is yet to come so i was not really so late for this stuff), i promised a lot of things as well, and i just hope i'd be able to keep all of it, i just knew that i will...

catching up...

well, it's been a while since i last visited my blog, it doesn't necessarily mean though that there's nothing really intersting that's happenning to me, actualy 'twas the opposite, it would take so much space, not to mention time if i get to list all of it, hmn....

last december was a busy month for me...why not, when all i had almost everyday was dinner with different set of friends not to mention those family gatherings i was forced to attend (i just so hated those family reunion thingie, it just put so much pressure on me with regards to the couple, marriage thing but then again that's a different story), well,i was just so glad to have spent some quality moments with some of my most fave people, seein' old friends and all that always gives me mixed emotions, joy that after all these years, we remained in touch with one another, glad that we were able to find time just so we could make kwento regarding the most recent events in our lives, sad because it gave me that feelin' of emptiness knowin' that some of them are contented and looks very much fulfilled with their married life, seein' their kids makes me wonder if i'll be havin' some too, i'll get into that..i'll get into that...hayy, but before anything else, i have to find the would be father of my kids first...tsk, tsk, tsk...