snichel..out of nowhere

Thursday, January 20, 2005

no to skinheads

i dunno what's with me but i've always been fascinated with skinheads, maybe because they give me this rebellious, non-conformist, laidback, playful aura, and knowin' me, i'm sucker for bad boys err naughty boys rather. now, what's with the sayin'opposite attracts?

i know i'm not very nice, but if you're definition of a good girl means someone who doesn't smoke, is not alcoholic, not a slut, always been a papa's girl, can't pass through a church without doin' sign of the cross, rersponsible, has stable job, is people oriented, loves her family so much, value her friends...then i could say that i've been basically good all my life. i don't claim to be perfect, not even close, but i definitely know when to go and when to stop, when i'm needed, and when i'm not.

i have my moments as well, i'm kinda bitchy, i'm frank, blunt, and bold. i'm transparent, i could never be cool whenever somethings bothering me, people say i'm also too smart to overanalyze everything i tend to forget what does my heart say. i'm complicated, i'm unpredicatable, i'm impulsive, decisive, and childish at times, i easily get hurt, but i easily forgive as well, i'm playful, i'm a tease, i always find myself starting something i really don't have the intention to end, i'm coward, i'm dependent, and i cry a lot, i'm egoistic and i don't bet what i can't afford to lose. i love to argue, and i could be very makulit, i'm not the type of person who always say yes, i'm assertive, even aggressive at times, me being submissive... i'd say goodluck, that would be the day!

so you see, my preference for bald guys has something to do wth my personality, maybe i need someone who could tolerate my playfulness but would be able to control me when it's too much already. i need someone i can depend on, since i'm kinda dependent and scared. i'd like to be with someoene who doesn't care what other people say as long as he's right and not hurting other people. i'd like to be with someone who's firm, and one who listens,someone i could discuss anything with, from ragnarok to our country's governement, someone who could tame me, and one whom i could tame in return.

i had my share of dating stories with these bald guys, and i don't think that after all that i've been through with them, i'd still stick to my fetish, i just don't think it would work, it's just a bad combination, it couldn't even forward to the next level, and i must say that this time, it's for real.

so skinheads... no more

btw funny when i went home last week, i just found myself staring on a skinhead, after a minute or so, reality hit me that the one i'm looking at is my dad, and promise, i won't admit to death that damn he looked good sporting that new image, no wonder mom gets kilig everytime dad tease him...ewwww... like mom, like daughter?!

psst... i miss you na!

coming from an exclusive school for girls almost all my life made me kinda uptight and tense whenver i'm relating with the opposite sex, one of the not so major difficulties i am experiencing whenever i get to conduct a training.

not that i'm scared of guys, actually i could name, well, a few whom i could share my deepest and darkest secrets with, not that it's many. but you know being close to my guy buddies made me somehow protective regarding their so called lovelife, i could even pass as their moms, but then, as long as their happy, no prob with me...

so what am i up to? well...i just miss a guy buddy, it's been a while since i last talked to him, and though he's claiming to be just busy with school stuff and some family thingie, a part of me is tampo pa din...

nevertheless, there are things i wanna say to him, (well, being so egoistic and all, i rarely express my gratitude to someone, it's just not my thing)i'd like to thank him for being so patient, i know i've been a nag, especially during times i was at his car, for putting up to all my demands, i always end up acting like a brat, for being so honest, he has his own way of saying things to me without being offensive, for making me less conceited, he's right, a little competition with others won't hurt...and for making me feel like a queen, even if most of the time, i don't act like one...

oist, i miss you na!