snichel..out of nowhere

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

i am special

i am special, that's what he said. had someone said it to me say months ago, i'd be so much flattered, and happy, but lately, hearing that word makes me sick, it's as if i couldn't appreciate the true meaning of the word, it's essence anymore.

i am special, nothing more, nothing less. i really dunno what made me so special as i really don't have any intention to ask, i guess we're both afraid to elaborate on that since we're not sure if we wanna know as to how special i am.

i am special, i'm the best among the rest, at least that's what he said. now, if i am the best, would it be so much if if i ask you drop the rest, i would have preferred to be the only one in your list. if i am the best, why do you still need the rest?

i am special, thank you. i appreciated it when you said that. i loved it when you always make me feel that way. you said i'm hard to please, if you only knw that i'm really not, i actually wanna curse myself for being so contented to be treated as someone special when i know that you could do better than that.

i am special, that's why i'm sticking with you, i've no other choice now but to just take everything you said and hope that you meant every letter of the word when you said it.

now what's the difference again of special from non-special?

spe-cial (adjective)

1. unusual or superior- distinct, different, unusual, or superior in comparison to others of the same kind (am i? maybe because i give him hell, i'm unpredictable, i'm complicated, bitch, mean, frank, blunt, brat, jealous--ahhh, not so in a positive way)

2. primary- of the greatest importance (am i? something to do with my nick queenkatie i think)

3. held in high esteem- regarded with particular attention or esteem or affection ( you do? well i could see that, i'm just not so sure if i'm the only one, i guess, i'll never be so sure of that until such time you'll give me some assurance on this aspect)

4. reserved- unique to or reseved for a specific purpose or thing (you do? i couldn't wait forever you know, i've done my part already, it would be much better if you'll lay your cards too)

5. made for particular purpose- made or used for a particular purpose or occassion ( we're guilty of this, we dunno already when to stop when we're at it)

6. exclusive- elite (big word, exclusive, are we?)