snichel..out of nowhere

Dear Mom

2006-08-07T19:25:00.000-07:00

You see me everyday...with many faces...
In many roles...possessing various responsibilities...
I am your daughter.

I am your daughter no. 1
Occupying a full time position
Allocated to the room beside the masters bedroom
But I have a name and distinct personality too, just like you.

If I complain about a petty thing,
Maybe I am saying more than you hear:
That I am a human being, with feelings.
And just like you,
I want attention too.

I'll accept your criticism when I've done wrong,
But how i wish you would praise me
When I've done right.
I'm just like you.
I crave for compliments too.

When I belabor a point that seems unimportant,
Maybe what I am really saying
Is that I consider my opinion important.
And I'm just like you,
I wnat someone to listen to me too.

And when a new rule is implemented
And i rebel against the change
Maybe I honestly don't know why.
You see, I'm just like you,
I want my questions answered too.

Some days you smile and some days you frown.
And I understand;
Your life is full of good days and bad days.
Do you understand I have good and bad days too,
I'm just like you.

And when i gripe about this or that,
Please don't write me off as a "black sheep".
I'm just like you,
I need to let off steam too.

And If I ask something of you,
And you know it can't be done,
Please don't try to "con" me,
Remember I'm just like you,
I'd rather hear no than a maybe that never comes true.

If sometimes I don't show initiative, there may be a reason.
Maybe I'm confused and really don't understand,
What you want me to do,
I'm just like you,
At times I need direction too.

Sometimes I rebel when you criticize me,
For something I've done wrong-and you're probably right,
But that tone of your voice and the words you utter can destroy my day.
Remember, I'm just like you,
I want respect too.

If this letter sounds like I placed all the blame in you,
Then I've failed to say what i mean.
I just wanted to tell you,
From my point of view,
All in all, i'm just like you.

by mirage

2006-07-21T01:21:00.000-07:00

got this one from peyups, entitled "mall of asia" (as this is the place where they went the morning after they had sex for the first time).

"They were doing this for months: sleeping together, wrapped in each other's arms, but that night was different. When she heard his deep breaths and felt him trace his fingers on her back, she knew that night would be different."

sex between friends is never romantic- get that patrice? :D

tagged by my partner in crime-patty girl:)

2006-06-06T17:05:00.000-07:00

10 FIRSTS

first best friend: Carmela Fernando
first screen name: shiela_garcia2003 (just couldn't think of any)
first pet name: lucky
first piercing: my ears when I was a baby
first crush: mario something
first school: Dominican College
first house location: Sta. Mesa
first kiss: wala din siyang kwenta hehehe
irst thing bought with your savings/allowance: Sweet Valley Twins
first perfume: Angel's Breath (yan ang IN dati- korek ka diyan girl!)

9 LASTS

last time you smoked: last year, college barkada's xmas party (i rarely smoke, depende kung talagang BI mga kasama ko harhar)
last food you ate: pork sinigang
last car ride: a while ago, with my sis going to office
last phone call: yesterday
last song you listened to: gemini (spongecola)
last words you said: "yup, alis ako ng friday"

8 HAVE-YOU-EVERS

dated a best friend: not only dated grrr
been arrested: not yet (parang may balak)
been on TV: nah
eaten sushi: yes
cheated on your BF/GF: mahirap maging mabait na gf, yun lang :D
been on a blind date: yup, to amiel, salamat kay liz
been in love: I am now
cried in public: yes

7 THINGS YOU ARE WEARING

1. a black blazer
2. slacks
3. pink sleeveless
4. jewelries
5. undies
6. black shoes
7. a clip

6 THINGS YOU HAVE DONE TODAY
1. greeted ron good morning
2. ate breakfast
3. played with my kid cuzins
4. finished my report
5. went to the other department
6. bought safety pins

5 FAVORITE THINGS

1. My cellphone
2. My flip-flops
3. My bags
4. My books/magazines
5. My tumblers from strabucks

4 PEOPLE YOU TRUST THE MOST

1. Junie
2. Tita Emy
3. Ate Jing
4. Chelo

3 THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFOREYOU DIE

1. Travel around the world
2. Drive my own car
3. Have a family

2 CHOICES
1. vanilla or chocolate: chocolate
2. hugs or kisses: both!

1 PERSON YOU WANT TO SEE RIGHT NOW?

1.) Ron

reminders

2006-06-05T17:00:00.000-07:00

there are stuff that i've to do before my cebu trip come friday, let me post the list so that i'll be that committed to do each of it;)

watch x-men with my boyfriend
buy dark chocolates for cebu staff (berry)
spend quality time with my boyfriend
buy a new blouse
watch x-men with my boyfriend
go to menange for a haircut (c/o ryan co)
spend quality time with my boyfriend
prepare the illustration boards for the cebu trip
watch x-men with my boyfriend

as promised, will block off wednesday just so i could watch x-men and spend time with you ron, love you!

moving on

2006-05-29T01:27:00.000-07:00

today, i've seen the guy i've whined and rant about for almot 3 months, and surprisingly, i didn't feel anything, it's as if i'm numb already when it comes to him. he still looks the same, couldn't say though that he still act the way he used to before when we were still "close".

it was awkward, no, make it very awkward, it's as if we dunno each other, we couldn't find anything to say except of "what's new?"

we talked about our common friends, families, work, but never we did talked about what happened between "us".

it was nice seen' him again, if only for the reason that now, i could finally say i'm over him.

yes by, natalo na nga ni spiderman si shaider:D

happy meal

2006-05-17T23:12:00.000-07:00

sheen: i've a new happy meal
queenie: ows?
sheen: yup, he's from ateneo, gorgeous, and very smart
queenie: uhuh, good for you:)
sheen: but it's not us yet, you know happy meals---they're always undecided
queenie: couldn't agree with you more friend;)

yup, you've read it right, we call them happy meal, those guys na ang age range is 21-25, may toy ka na, happy ka pa:) couldn't blame us, may mga girls ata na sadyang kid magnet talaga harharhar.

with happy meal, it's seasonal, there's peak and off peak season, it's limited, not always available, and is hard to find. it's expensive too, and something that could be added to your collection.

again happy meal--may toy ka na, happy ka pa (yummy)!

this is really nice;)

2006-05-15T00:12:00.000-07:00

list 21 people who are at the top of your head rightnow, and then answer the questions.

1. quentin
2. chelo
3. junie
4. patty
5. gian carlo
6. carlo
7. tin
8. florence
9. badette
10. ronald
11. anna
12. farah
13. luther
14. jeanette
15. guia
16. cla
17. marge
18. denis
19. inna
20. gino
21. sheen

how did you meet 12? back in kinder

what would you do if you never met 6? it's fine, i'll live hehehe

what would you do if 20 and 9 dated? haha, interesting, i've been bugging gino lately na set up ko siya ng date :D

did you ever like 11? anna is one of my most fave friends:)

would 4 and 13 make a good couple? ha! now this is hilarious, pwede, kaya lang i was so greedy then, who knows, kung hindi ako nag-epal, baka sila na ngayon harhar

describe 8. super nice, very gentleman, sobrang simple, i guess he's fond of me, kaya nga he's sticking with me eh hehehe

do you think 14 is attractive? yes, ask niyo pa si melencio nyahaha

tell me something humiliating about 17. nothing major, pero naman, if i am talkative, lalo na siya, as in don't give her the liscense to talk, otherwise, you won't get to hear the end of her tragic stories grrr

do you know any of 3's family members? yes, and i love them, as a matter of fact, welcome akong maging additional family member, si yaya lang kase eh--may attitude problem hahaha

what's 21's favorite color? peach or baby blue?! not sure

on a scale of 1-10,how hot is 10? errr baby ko yan eh :D

what would you do if 18 confesses he likes you? he did already, calm lang,he knows i'm not ready yet sa mga ganyan

what language does 20 speak? tagalog, and english i guess

who is 9 going out with? she's not dating right now, she just came from a bad relationship

what grade is 16 in? she looks like shes in grade school but shes workin already :)

when's the last time you talked to 13? 2 months and 12 days

what is 2's favorite band/singers? there's a lot... i think

would you ever date 5? people always assume we're a couple, what the heck--he's my first cousin, one of my favorites

would you ever date 1? why not...pero incest yun eh, he's the brother i've never had, nun yun, nung hindi pa siya ermitanyo

what is 19's last name? cervantes

what school does 7 go to? she went to ateneo

where does 15 live? pasig

are number 7 & 8 best friends? no, they dunno each other

do you like 6? yes, i do, he looks like dingdong dantes hehe, but way too young for me, 22?! grrr

cebu trip and spiderman;)

2006-05-09T17:53:00.000-07:00

just got back from cebu for almost more than a week of business trip (harhar), and if i may say, ito ang pinaka enoy:)

been to cebu for say 7 times already, but this is the only trip wherein i was able to really explore the said place, and they're right, ang ganda nga talaga ng pilipinas hehehe.

plantation bay was the best, i promised myself i would go back again, and make sure that i'd stay there even at least for a night just so i could experience how it is to swim in it's man made falls.

thanks candy and jenny, twas really a blast, next time uli ha!

on the side, yup, though i'm still a fan of shaider, i'm now addicted to spiderman:) thanks for making me happy, i've said this before and i'll say it again, you're the reason of the many smiles in my face, i really couldn't help but grin whenever i think of you. i just hope you'll trust me more as i don't intend to break your heart just like that, i swear to be honest and be true to you, be loyal if possible and be that patient and understanding whenever your insecurity occurs hehehe. you've to know where i'm coming from though, i'm not afraid, i'm just cautious, since if there's one thing i've realized from the last one, it's that i don't need someone to complete me-in order to be happy, but i want total commitment if ever.

how i wish i could give you that assurance, that no matter what, i'm going to stay. i know how it feels, yun you're in between, kaya nga i'm having a hard time whenever you ask if i also feel the same.

mwah by mwah!

more surveys from friendster

2006-04-20T16:14:00.000-07:00

1. Have you ever smoked heroin?.:. NOPE
2. Do you own a gun?.:.NADA
3. Rehab?.:. NEVA
4. Do you get nervous before "meeting theparents"?.:. OF COURSE
5. What do you think of hot dogs?.:. I LIKE EM WITH CHEESE AND RELISH AND KETCHUP...NOT ALL THE TIME THOUGH
6. What's your favorite Christmas song?.:. MANY! WHITE CHRISTMAS, WHAT CHILD IS THIS, O HOLY NIGHT, O COME ALL YE FAITHFUL, HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS...ALTHOUGH I PREFER IT WHEN THEY'RE SUNG BY CHOIRS, NOT BY POP STARS
7. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?.:. WATER, AND CHOCOLATE DRINK
8. Do you do push-ups?.:. DO I? YES. CAN I? NO...HARDLY! HAHA BUT BECAUSE OF PILATES AND YOGA CLASS, I HAVE TO ;)
9. Have you ever done ecstacy?.:. I WAS NEVER PART OF THE CRAZE, I'M JUST TOO TAME FOR THAT
10. Are you vegan?.:. NO
11. Do you like painkillers?.:. YES, I'VE A LOW TOLERANCE WITH PAIN
12. What is your secret weapon to lure in theopposite sex?.:. I DUNNO, IF I'M JUST HIS TYPE THEN I GUESS EVERYTHING ELSE FLOWS SMOOTHLY...BUT ACCORDING TO QUENTIN, MAYBE I JUST KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO THEM, I'M GOOD IN COMPLIMENTING A MAN, AND MAKE THEM FEEL SO GOOD ABOUT HIMSELF
13. Do you own a knife?.:. NOPE
14. Do you have A.D.D.?.:. HUH...SORRY, WHAT DID YOU SAY? HEHEHE NO BUT SOMETIMES I THINK I DO, I EASILY GET BORED:D
15.Date Of Birth?.:. OCTOBER 21
16. Top 3 thoughts at this exact moment: 1.) MY RATE INCREASE 2.) THIS WEEKEND'S AGENDA 3.) HOW IS SHAIDER AND WISELY DOING...
17. Name the last 3 things you have bought? 1.) JOGGING PANTS 2.) LIP GLOSS 3.) SLIPPERS
18. Name five drinks you regularly drink: 1.) C2 GREEN TEA 2.) MAGNOLIA CHOCOLAIT 3.)FRAPUCCINO FROM STARBUCKS 4.) WATER 5.) ICED TEA
19. What time did you wake up today?.:. 4AM
20. Current hair?.:. IN A SLOPPY BUN
21. Current worry?.:. AS USUAL, MANY THINGS....
22.Current hates?.:. PEOPLE WHO PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH AND SAY UNTRUE THINGS ABOUT OTHERS
23. Favorite place to be?.:. BEACH, ANYWHERE MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY ARE
24. Least favorite place to be?.:. ANYWHERE DIRTY AND WITH RATS AND WITH NO ONE I KNOW AND NOTHING TO DO AROUND
25. Where would you like to GO?.:. RIGHT NOW? BORACAY AND PALAWAN
26. Do you own slippers?.:. OF COURSE
27. Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs?.:. MARRIED, HOPEFULLY? WITH A KID OR TWO, AND A NICE JOB AND BEACH HOUSE...I SEE MYSELF HERE THOUGH I REALLY WOULDN'T MIND, NOR WOULD I BE SURPRISED IF I ENDED UP ABROAD
28. Would you be a pirate?.:. WHATEVER FOR? MAYBE I'LL HOP ON THEIR SHIP FOR A JOYRIDE, BUT I WONT TAKE PART IN THEIR "ACTIVITIES"
29. Last time you had an alcoholic drink?.:. LAST SUNDAY I THINK, STRAWBERRY MARGARITA
30. What songs do you sing in the shower?.:. WHATEVER'S IN MY HEAD AND SOMETHING I CAN SING WELL, SO I WONT BE EMBARRASSED WHEN PEOPLE HEAR ME, HEHE
31. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?.:. THE DEVIL, A WITCH, OR SOME OTHER EVIL SPIRIT
32. What's in your pockets right now?.:. NONE
33. Last thing that made you laugh?.:. WHEN RHONA ASSUMED THAT CHLOE' WAS MARRIED TO A GUY
34. Best bed sheets you had as a child?.:. THESE FLORAL ONES...
35. Worst injury you've ever had?.:. NONE SO FAR
36. How many TVs do you have in your house?.:. 7
37. Who is your loudest friend?.:. IZEL, MELAY, CELIA
38. Who is your most silent friend?.:. JUNZ, AND INNA
39. Does someone have a crush on you?.:. SAID WHO?
40. Do you wish on stars?.:. USED TO, ON SHOOTING STARS
41. What is your favorite book?.:. A TON OF OTHERS I'M LAZY TO WRITE
42. What is your favorite candy?.:. COLA :LOL:
43. What song do/did you want played at yourwedding?.:. OUT OF MY LEAUGE?!
44. What song do you want played at your funeral?.:. " " " " "
45. What were you doing 12AM last night?.:. SLEEPING...MY ONE WEEK OF LATE NIGHTS IS STILL TAKING A TOLL ON ME NOW...
46. Do you love someone?.:. OF COURSE
**********************
1. Initials:- CLD
2. Name someone with the same birthday as you:- *****
3.Last thing that you ate?- ENSAYMADA
4. For or against same sex marriage?- PRO...WHY NOT?
5. Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday- I RARELY WATCH TV THESE DAYS
6. Do you believe in God?- OF COURSE
7. How many cities have you been to?- A FEW
8. Something non-physical you like about yourself:- MY TALENTS---THOUGH HALF-BAKED:D
9. What is your mom's name?- ROSARIO
10. If you could go anywhere in the world,where would you go?- EUROPE,BANGKOK,DUBAI
11. Favorite type of food?- SEAFOOD,SWEETS,BURGERS, PASTA
12. Favorite holiday?- CHRISTMAS
13. Do you download music?- BUT OF COURSE, WHO DOESN'T? BUT IT'S NOT REALLY ME, I SORT OF ASK LUTHER TO DO THAT FOR ME, SO SHOOT US, WE'RE PIRATES :lol:
14. Where would you want to go on a firstdate?- NOT THE MALL...UNLESS I'M BORED HEHE

16. Has anyone ever sang or played for you?- YUP EVENTHOUGH HE COULDN'T SING A NOTE, BUT IT WAS STILL SWEET...HEHEHE
17. Have you ever cried for no reason?- WHY WOULD ANYONE CRY IF THERE'S NO REASON...EVEN IF ACTORS HAD TO FORCE THEMSELVES TO CRY, I'M SURE THEY HAVE TO THINK OF SOMETHING TEAR-JERKING, AND THEREFORE, A SAD THOUGHT WOULD BE THEIR REASON TO CRY
18. Do you like President Arroyo?- NOT EVER
20. Has anyone ten years older than youever hit on you?- YES, AND 12 YEARS OLDER (HEHE)
21. How is the weather right now?- TOO HOT

22. Current track you're listening to?- MP3 FROM MIKE
23. What is your current favorite song?- TOO MANY TO MENTION
25. Do you wear contacts?- NOPE!
26. Where was the last place you went besides your house?- STARBUCKS
27. What are you afraid of the most?- RATS, DEATH; LOSS (OF THINGS/PEOPLE THAT ARE SPECIAL TOME)
28. Any pets?- nO:(

29. Have you ever loved someone?- YEAH
30. What really turns you on?- PHYSICALLY? IT'S UNEXPLAINABLE :p -BUT NON-PHYSICALLY- MATURITY, HUMILITY, AND SECURITY WITH HIMSELF, HE MUST BE FUNNY TOO
31. What do you usually order from Starbucks?- LITE CARAMEL FRAP
32. Have you ever fired a gun?-JUST AN AIRGUN? HEHE
33. Are you missing someone?- HELL YEAH, GINO, RITA, LUTHER (SO MUCH), KIKO,
34. Do you have an iPod?- NONE
35. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?- HAHAHA
36. What's the name of your crush?- MY PASSWORD IN MY ACCOUNTS
37. Are you comfortable with your height?- I GUESS, BUT NEVER SATISFIED...
38. Have you ever been caught doingsomething you weren't supposed to bedoing?- OF COURSE, WHO HASN'T BEEN?
39. Favorite flower?- TULIPS
40. Butter, plain, kettle, or salted popcorn?- KETTLE OR CHEESE-FLAVORED
41. What books are you reading right now?- I DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME TO READ NOW
42. Has anyone you were really close topassed away?-NO, THANK GOD
43. Do you watch MTV?- A LOT
44. What's something that really annoys you?- FAKERS, POEPLE WHO PUT WORDS IN YOUR MOUTH, RUDE PEOPLE, PEOPLE WHO THINK MUCH OF THEMESELVES, SELF-RIGHTEOUS PEOPLE (especially the ones with no "K" to back it up!)
45. What are some things you really like?- GOOD MOVIES, THE SUN, THE MOON,SWEETS, TRAVELLING, SHOPPING, TALKING, DINING WITH FRIENDS
46. Do you like Michael Jackson?- I USED TO LIKE HIS SONGS
47. Can you dance?- I THINK SO!
49. Favorite breakfast food?- EGGS, HAM, AND BACON WITH TOASTED BREAD
50. What's the latest you have ever stayed awake?- 7-8 AM

the classic mentos in me

2006-04-18T17:13:00.000-07:00

i won't consider the first quarter of this year that good. well, i was able to go to boracay, and spent some quality time with two of my closest girlfriends, but then it was in boracay too where i lost my closest guy buddy.

let me give you an update regarding my personal life:

guy no. 1 (shaider) - i guess it's too late now, because when i finally decided to talk, shaider seemed to have changed his mind already, it's as if he didn't know annie anymore, he's staying as far away from me as possible. i wanted to talk, clear things up once and for all, but he didn't want to, and no matter what i say, everything falls on deaf ears.

for the record, i asked him out twice already, didn't get any out of those two but excuses and rejection. i even had a family problem resulting to paglalayas and desperately called him because i assumed i could depend on him but nada, zilch, i just received a missed call and a very cold comfort from him.

now, sino ang may sabi na mag bf lang ang nagbe-break? well, as friends, technically, nag break na din kami.

but for whatever its worth, i know shaider loved annie, it may not be in the same manner that annie have wanted him to, but still annie knows that he cares.

guy no. 2 (francis the jerk)- true, we're in touch now. needless to say, we're working so hard to be friends again, after all, we started as one.

guy no. 3 (wisely-not-so-great)- well, as of yesterday, he said goodbye already. according to him, as much as he loves to be with me, he just couldn't because he still have much issues from the past that must be resolved. bottomline is he can't commit.

really, i couldn't have it all, work-wise, i'm doing so well, my bosses are so proud of me.

i'm so sick and tired of mediocre better than nothing relationships. i swear i'm moving on. i'm tired of always tryin' to understand this guy's immaturity or that that guy's busy schedule or this moron's issues about relationships. i wanna be swept away, i deserve to be swept away. i wanna take as much as i give- i am that worthy. if the guy will make me feel otherwise, for sobbing out loud, i'll dump him, i will make him see that i mean business, that i will no longer put up with his bs, if he won't beg to be taken back, it will not be my loss, i'm way too special and fabulous to be wasting my time on a jackass who makes me feel like a crap.

weeds no more

2006-03-27T23:44:00.000-08:00

Main Entry: 1weed Pronunciation: 'wEdFunction: nounEtymology: Middle English, from Old English wEod weed, herb; akin to Old Saxon wiod weed1 a (1) : a plant that is not valued where it is growing and is usually of vigorous growth; especially : one that tends to overgrow or choke out more desirable plants (2) : a weedy growth of plants b : an aquatic plant; especially : SEAWEED c (1) : TOBACCO (2) : MARIJUANA

this is for you just so you'd know. ano ka ba, i'm trying to do something constructive already, ok na ko eh, pero ayan ka na naman. i wanna know what's your problem. actually, when i first learned that, sobrang i couldn't believe it, it's because i know you, and that i trust you. you won't do something na magiging kasiraan mo din in the end. sige na nga, you're even the most kind hearted guy i've met (objectively ha), kaya until now, eto, state of shock pa din ako.

i wanna curse myself kase baka may problem ka, tapos nagkataon pa na i cut all my communications with you, baka wala kang mahanap na kausap nun, i should have been there for you, you should not have attended that damn meeting, you should not have met that evil chick.

ok na ko eh, but still i dunno what to do with you. as a friend, sige, sobrang concern ako sa'yo ngayon, but oh my, have i told you na sa lhat ng ginawa mo, eto ang hindi ka talaga nag-isip.

whatever respect na natitira sa akin ngayon for you, parang biglang nawala, ewan.

basta, ayokong maging addict ka, that is kung true nga yun.

24 days and counting

2006-03-26T19:33:00.000-08:00

yup, you got it right, it's been 24 days since we last talked (not even a decent conversation if i may say), and still- i'm alive and sane.

i've never really understood what happened between us, how and why we came to this, ang alam ko lang, i want to end the cycle. i especially liked what i've read from patty's blog- for it describes exactly what i'm feeling right now, that what hurt most is not really losing him but knowing that he didn't do anything to keep me. why i was not surprised anymore, when our common friends said that they expected it already, it's just not him, or maybe, i'm just not worthy.

part of me is still sad, sabi ko nga kay chelo, sa lahat ng masakit, eto ang pinakamasakit, because i was not prepared, i expected, and i invested too much. i miss him , he was my weekends after all, his was the phone call i always wanted to get, the messages i leave undeleted on my phone, and the chats i save on file no matter how shallow, just for the sake of mushiness.

natatamad na ko ipagpatuloy, saka na lang, pag di na ampalaya ang breakfast, lunch, and dinner ko, pag di na mapait ang panlasa ko, pag clear na utak ko at di ko na pinagsisisihan those fucking moments i sticked with him, pag wala na akong galit sa mga kalbo.

trash

2006-03-15T23:22:00.000-08:00

i've nothing good to say so this won't be long

sh!t kayo

i am special

2006-02-14T16:14:00.000-08:00

i am special, that's what he said. had someone said it to me say months ago, i'd be so much flattered, and happy, but lately, hearing that word makes me sick, it's as if i couldn't appreciate the true meaning of the word, it's essence anymore.

i am special, nothing more, nothing less. i really dunno what made me so special as i really don't have any intention to ask, i guess we're both afraid to elaborate on that since we're not sure if we wanna know as to how special i am.

i am special, i'm the best among the rest, at least that's what he said. now, if i am the best, would it be so much if if i ask you drop the rest, i would have preferred to be the only one in your list. if i am the best, why do you still need the rest?

i am special, thank you. i appreciated it when you said that. i loved it when you always make me feel that way. you said i'm hard to please, if you only knw that i'm really not, i actually wanna curse myself for being so contented to be treated as someone special when i know that you could do better than that.

i am special, that's why i'm sticking with you, i've no other choice now but to just take everything you said and hope that you meant every letter of the word when you said it.

now what's the difference again of special from non-special?

spe-cial (adjective)

1. unusual or superior- distinct, different, unusual, or superior in comparison to others of the same kind (am i? maybe because i give him hell, i'm unpredictable, i'm complicated, bitch, mean, frank, blunt, brat, jealous--ahhh, not so in a positive way)

2. primary- of the greatest importance (am i? something to do with my nick queenkatie i think)

3. held in high esteem- regarded with particular attention or esteem or affection ( you do? well i could see that, i'm just not so sure if i'm the only one, i guess, i'll never be so sure of that until such time you'll give me some assurance on this aspect)

4. reserved- unique to or reseved for a specific purpose or thing (you do? i couldn't wait forever you know, i've done my part already, it would be much better if you'll lay your cards too)

5. made for particular purpose- made or used for a particular purpose or occassion ( we're guilty of this, we dunno already when to stop when we're at it)

6. exclusive- elite (big word, exclusive, are we?)

and he did it again

2006-02-09T18:27:00.000-08:00

november 2005

the jerk: is it possible for you to refer me to one of your friends? you know, i mean i'm not a bad guy naman and you know that

me: no, i don't think i could refer you to one of my friends, it's improper since may "past" tayo

the jerk: ok, i hope to see you soon though

me: fine

january 2006

the jerk: hi, how are you?

me: i'm fine, how about you?

the jerk: kinda busy at work. hmn, chel, i just wanna ask, given the chance, would you do it again with me

me: i dunno, will you?

the jerk: yes, i would love to

me: ok

the jerk: i've changed my mind, call me names and all, but i guess, nachicken ako.

february 2006

the jerk: how are you?

me: hmn, fine i guess, weird, why are you askin'?

the jerk: are you mad at me? coz you didn't answer my text message the last time

me: err because i have nothing good to say that time. supposedly, i should be mad at you, you've been a jerk and all, but nah, it's just not me. i also don't think we're that ok, since we really haven't gotten the chance to really talk about what happened.

the jerk: i think we're both ok na, what's up with you?

me: you know what? miss ko yun times na we get to talk ng wala lang, i mean we had fun when we first went out, naisip ko lang na sana we didn't do it na lang, we could have been good friends now.

the jerk: there's nothing we could do about it anymore. chel, i wanna ask someone from pex again, can you refer me someone na ok?

me: i dunno if you've understand what i've told you before when you asked if i could refer one of my friends to you. again, i won't do it for the simple reason na may "past" tayo, something na hanggang ngayon, unresolved pa din and unclear. and till such time you'll know how to treat a girl properly, you won't get any good recommendations from me. for someone so smart, i'm so disappointed with you. and nah, i don't think we could be good friends. you made me feeli like a trash then, and you're still making me feel that way now, know what? i've just realized na hindi ako ang unworthy, it's you. wherever life may lead us from here...goodluck!

the jerk: i'm sorry, i thought you was just kidding then. i apologize for that.

2006-02-01T17:31:00.000-08:00

time space warped

names have been changed to protect the innocent. *bleh*

the saga of shaider and annie part eleven

dear shaider,

i know we have been colleagues for so long. we've shared about a hundred coffee cups from the vending machine across the hall. we've watched reruns of king kong vs. godzilla over and over again while waiting for fumalear to strike again in the lounge. you held my hand while i cried over spilling bleach on the team uniforms. we've talked about anything under the sun, from my skirt being vertically-challenged (and my love for pink undies) to how you like smelling your boots in the morning.

but then again i have been having these secret feelings for you for so long too...i dunno if keeping it would be as painful as you not returning it. but as adelaide, our robot has adviced me, regrets are like choosing new oil for your engine instead of the usual. your engine might run 'nice' for a while but it won't last as long as your usual oil. without the usual your engine will rust and eventually have holes. so here i am writing you this stupid letter. i like you really. maybe even love you. more than our cappucinos in the morning. or that drama i wait for at night. but then who am i to have your undivided attention? there are girls prettier than me. or maybe more experienced. in our field that is. it's scary that you have a big heart. because i might be reading more into how you are treating me. yet i am too still hopeful that in that big heart of yours, there might be a wee bit of a space for me.

i do wish you would reply in whatever manner you want. i am afraid to lose the friendship yet i think i am more afraid to lose the love. i am giving you space to think about the things that i have said. i'll be asking our general to assign me to distant g-10 in the dirdron galaxy. i will miss you.

sincerely,
annie

dear annie,

i had a sinking feeling you would be bringing up this subject soon enough. i felt it eversince that incident, when fumelear stepped over my boots and ruined it. you were so worried that we won't ever find its replacement.

i really don't know what to say. i value our friendship a lot. you are the only person i know who loves king kong vs. godzilla like i do. you are an exceptional girl, annie. you're very special to me. but then i'm still not ready to go into a relationship, especially now that fumelear's forces have moved into planet zorko. the general has assigned me a special roving task, i have to monitor it almost 24/7.

you're leaving me? who will replace you in the control booth? there will be no other control girl like you annie. not even alibaba, who can open doors with a snap of a finger. or was that wave of a hand? uh. whatever that is, we have chemistry. no other team can beat us. but if that is your decision, then i can't do anything about it...

can't you wait for me?
i will miss you sorely.

shaider

by greenandpink (memories of shaider and annie)

Thank You!

2006-01-31T16:27:00.000-08:00

Dear All

I don't bet what i can't afford to lose (then)

I'd like to thank you friends for checking on me, yeah, i still feel sad, and i still cry- i cry when i take a bath, i cry when i chat, i cry when i'm about to sleep, i cry when i work, yes, i cry---a lot, because i have fallen in love with somoene i should not have fallen in love with, i should have listened to all of you.

Lessons learned, i'd like to say moving on, how i wish it's that easy though.

Thank you Farah, Gene and Anna- i tried to deny it at first but i guess you knw me too well, lying would be such a waste of time. We've been friends for say, 15 years already, and i want you to know that though this isn't the first time you've seen in me in my weakest moment, i love you all for bearing with my rantings and whinings, and sticking with me even if i'm not the easiest girl friend to be with these past few days.

Thank you Chelo, Patty, Anna, Jeanette, Joy and Badette- i love you that you believe in me and trust me. I love you that i can really be blunt and you wouldn't hate me for it. I love you that i can be hard on the outside and soft and chewy on the inside I love you that i can act stupid, not ashamed to admit it and you'd still call me your own. I love you that you're all loyal to me, you're willing to give up stuff just so i could be happy. I love you that i could be chelo, queenkatie, and annie all the same time and you would still accept and love me for who i am.

Thank you Francis (the beautiful mind)- you're right, i guess i'm partly to be blamed, i went with the flow and look where it have gotten me. Thank you for taking time to know how i am, you just don't how much i appreciate it, please don't make me cry again anytime soon, i don't want you to leave and you know that.

Thank you Glenn- for keeping me sane, and for giving me those reality checks, i swear i could curse you for being so honest, it makes me sick most of the time.

Thank you Ms. Car, Ms. Jack, Ms. Olive and Ms. Ella- for listening, for cheering, and for continuously boosting my morale. I've done my part already, you'll be so proud of me;)

From:

IzeQueen ( remember the nick chelo? i've met the guy who finally melted the ice out of me, will tell you more of him when we get to talk- the guy with the big heart, and though it meant to do good, he's also bound to break hearts...i should know, he broke mine without him knowing it:( )

Taking Chances

2006-01-25T22:25:00.000-08:00

Each of us has our own comfort zones. A place where we feel safe, secure and protected. A place we return to when things do not seem to turn out the way we expect it to. A place we call our sanctuary.The need to feel safe is inherent in man. For nine months, we are nurtured in our mother’s womb, cared for and loved. Once outside, our parents guide us from the moment we take our first steps up to the time we come of age. By then, we have built our own defenses, have developed our own way of coping with life’s harsh realities.

Some of us never leave this place of comfort. Too scared to get hurt, too weak to even want to endure the pain of living, these people opt to live in a shell. They go about their everyday life, not deviating from their daily routine. Alive, but not really living.

But some actually venture out of their shells and experience the world. There are those who go through life cautiously, taking one step at a time. But others go through it head on. They fall, they get scratched and bruised. They retreat to that safe place to lick their wounds. But they stand back up and go out to face the world once more. Living, for them, is an adventure. Not afraid to take risks, to take chances.

Taking chances. With people, with love, with life. It isn’t everyday that we get the chance to do certain things and meet certain people. If we don’t, we may miss out on one of life’s many surprises.

Life isn’t meant to be lived in rose gardens and cushions. It is too short to let it slip by without experiencing its rough roads, uphill climbs and sharp curves. Take a chance! Who knows, one of us could be the next president of the United States, or the next Margaret Thatcher, or the next man on the moon. And risk to love! It isn’t really living without loving. Risking to love also means there’s the risk of pain. After all, we have to endure rain before we actually see the rainbow.

Take chances. Go out. Meet people. Build friendships. And care. Who knows, The One we are looking for may just be around the corner, or at the next bend.

With these words I’ve written, I found the answer to the question that’s been bugging me since. I’m taking a chance on you, sad eyes, sad voice and all. You may be one messed-up soul right now. But I’ve got a feeling that you will turn out to be one heck of a friend someday.

i look into your eyes, so far away, there’s trouble on your mind, your losing faith, hey now, let me hold you, it will be okay….

olabs 05, m a y 25

to shaider

2006-01-25T18:14:00.000-08:00

what the hell are we doing? let's make it easier for both of us and just settle this once and for all...

dream on chel...you just couldn't possibly ask him that, you're too coward to even make a move, admit it, you can't live without that damn friendship, you'll take what you can just because you're scared of totally losing him, so you've no choice but enjoy the hellish ride.

pathetic, that's what i am

summer once again

2005-04-13T17:09:00.000-07:00

due to quentin's request...

i feel hot, as in so hot! i wanna take a bath every hour if only it's possible *sigh*.

i don't think i've enjoyed summer before as i am having so much fun right now. well, i could say i've been with different places already this summer thought it's not even in it's halfway, how lucky can i get huh!

my dad is complaining already since they can't get through me na nor see me na pakalat kalat sa house, especially during weekends. i'm now feeling guilty since i don't get to spend some quality time with my family anymore, i even made a pass to last week's family outing since i made a commitment already with some friends goin' to pagudpud, ilocos.

i'm also feeling guilty since i'm enjoying water so much (whatever form it is), i have to remind myself that i'll be the maid of honor to my cuzin'z and bestfriend's wedding, well, unless i'm visioning myself to be the blackest maid of honor ever to grace a grand wedding, ewww, it doesn't seem to be that promiseing since i have my eyes all set to the best man hahaha (wish ko lang, ferdie is still single!).

been to tagaytay (3x), bohol, pagudpud,ilocos, batangas, antipolo, laguna alread. now looking forward to galera, antipolo (again next week), tagaytay (again next month), and san fabian. wooohhhh, i really feel so hot! anyone, any idea aside from taking a bath? :p

late:(

2005-04-08T01:10:00.000-07:00

alright, this one is so late already, we'll have another trip again next week :p, well, i was just too lax, and lazy and restless these past few days, i can't find any inspiration at all to post some thoughts here, lemme try though...

*tagaytay trip 2 was more fun (sorry peeps from batch1), interesting and hilarious. maybe since that was the second trip already, we knew what to expect na, what to do, and what not to do. we had more time to explore tagaytay, more time to enjoy the pool, and more people to laugh with:)

thanks gels! it was such a nice girl bonding for us, as usual chelo was very organized, she took care of us financially hahaha, she woke up late alright but very well compensated it by inviting more peeps and coordinating the trip. i had a nice time with patty (my ever reliable bitchy sistah!), i know that she's not feeling so well-havin' some heart issues lately but still, she exerted much effort to be one of us and enjoy the trip (remind me to buy you some pain killer girl). nice to see anne again too, since it's been a while since we last spent some quality time together (no prob girl, we'll have more trips sooner, just make sure to file your leaves hahaha--me--bad influence!). and last but definitely not the least, anna (the girl na nasa loob ang kulo), next time i'll make sure that we'll have support group again (we could bad mouth guys until such time magsawa tayo! hehe).

thanks guys! i had a great time with you as well, i was just glad to have seen two of my most fave guys in the world spending some quality time together (mwah to you kiko and luther), next time again, next time:) i can't thank enough ross for making me her fave model, whew, those stolen shots, i won't be able to forget him, as in! i felt i wasn't given the chance to be at my best in front of his camera (good thing, you have the face i could die for hahaha. i had superb moments with noni too, twas nice meetin' you-new playmate, have i told you, i so love your shirt? :p, i hope to see you again! thanks glenn and friend----you surely know how to make me tipsy, lagi niyo kong nilalaglag sa game natin hahaha, i had a nice time, thank you:)

next trip: --->antipolo next week, galera on may, can't wait:)

* i accidentaly posted this one to quentin's blogsite:p, siyempre pa, i called him rightaway, nag panic agad ako hehehe

feeling scared and all

2005-03-16T16:16:00.000-08:00

the past few days have been a roller coaster ride for me, i've never felt this way for such a long time that i dunno already how to be in this kind of situation.

thanks to jen, i've seen my loser ex again. well, it's only a recent pic of him but nevertheless, it has the same effect on me. what happened to us was such a nightmare, a very traumatic moment in my life i don't want to even think about it. when i saw his pic, it just all came back, the pain, betrayal, lies, bitterness. i feel like crying not because i've realized that i'm still so into him, but for the reason that he made me feel this way. an ice that wil never melt, a person who has the highest level of protecting shield, the girl who's aloof and so cautious she's havin' a hard time trusting people around her, the woman who's so scared of fallin in love again.

i hate that guy for making me feel so insecure, that i'm unworthy, and that i'm unpretty. i hate him coz' whenever i think of him, it's as if i'm looking to the future i lost.

3 months ago, i've met another guy, ignored him at first, i was even turned off to those pick up lines he used ;p, but he was so consistent and persistent he worked so hard to get through me. alright, maybe i like the guy, so much that it scares the hell out of me, it's been a while since i last felt this way, i dunno what to do now. i'm not used to this, me not being in control, me not being able and proud, me not being egoistic and all, me not being the one to be chased, me not being treated like a queen, and me fallin for someone i barely know.

sometimes, i just want to curse the guy for coming into my life, for making me feel helpless and all. how can i do that though when most of the time, i find myself wishing and hoping that he'd be the one to melt the ice out of me...

soulmates

2005-02-22T00:29:00.000-08:00

yes, i admit, i am mushy...(thanks ms.o!)

Each one of us is but one half of a complete soul. It is said that when a soul descends on earth, it splits in two, each half inhabiting separate bodies and will never be complete or whole again until they find one another.

I found my soulmate. I found that one person who made me smile, who encouraged my hopes and dreams, who understood me, who made me whole.

My friend, you are my soulmate and I refuse to believe otherwise. You, who understood my imperfections perfectly, who listened while I ranted on about life’s unfairness, and who gave space when I needed it, but was always around when I needed an ear, a shoulder.

I don’t know if what you are to me is what I am to you. I just know that there is a connection between us that neither one of us can explain.

I am sorry that your logical mind doesn’t believe in the concept. Laugh at me if you must. But my faith will be enough for both of us.

And if we can’t have this lifetime, I promise that the next will be ours.

tagaytay trip

2005-02-21T00:03:00.000-08:00

i had so much fun last weekend, sabi nga ni francis nakakamaga ng tiyan sa kakatawa=)

the place wherein we stayed was superb, even the owners were nice, and also the katiwala , si mang willy. prior to the said trip, i was kinda nervous since the number of would be pax' still way below 12, but then thanks to chelo, she really made an effort to invite more peeps to tagaytay.

sobrang bonding kami ng girls, though this isn't the first time i'll be seeing chelo and badette, still we had some fun pa din. i like erah, she's way too nice, and sabi nga ni mike-thoughtful hahaha! she was the one who cooked rice for us and though it didn't turned out the way we expected to be, ok lang girl, effort pa din yan! i so love patty- she's right, soul sister ata kami, not to mention na we have so many things in common, including one particular guy har har (akala niya patty,makakaiskor siya ha!).

the guys had fun as well, obvious ba, lasingan ito! wasted na nga yun iba (hmmmp). luther joined us, but he went back to manila after swimming for some family gathering, still appreciated the effort to be with us though, thanks for the chocolate and also the pics...sobrang nice! nice to know that francis enjoyed it too, i was kinda worried with him, he've been feeling down for the past few days, so i felt i have to do something to cheer him up, and knowin' how snob he could get, i was just happy to know na bonding to the max siya with the guys (nasakyan mo sila kiko?!). thanks also to zack, he suffered a lot esp. with the seating arrangement sa van, i bet sumakit ears niya sa voice at kaingayan ko, next time, find another sit na lang hehehe. well, if there's one thing, he was the one who prepared our dinner, ihaw to the max, salamat uli! i have to mention quels and his frind, mike too, since when they arrived, dun nag start ang mas madaming kalokohan, tinalo ko sa icebreaker! i won't especially forget mike's kodak moment when i was telling a story, and naka open mouth niya hahaha. and well si quels, let's just say hindi pa din niya ko kaya (go figure!)

we're planning for another tagaytay trip...hopefully on april 16 and 17...i can't wait

random thoughts

2005-02-10T16:06:00.000-08:00

*i received an e-mail from one of my friends, it's a love story about the one who got away, and finding a better version of that someone. being the hopeless romantic that i am, well, i almost cry after reading it, i just hate confrontations and saying goodbye afterwhich, i'm just not good at that and i don't think i'll ever be. i may be tough outside, but i'm such a softee inside, i guess i'm just afraid to be hurt that's why i always pretend that i'm alright, being perceived as a weakling is the last thing i wanna be in the eyes of people around me, now is that good or bad?

* i spent some quality moments with two of my bestest friends last weekend. after more or less 10 years, it's only now i got to sleepover in their house after they left our place, suffice to say, i was so excited and happy our scheds eventually met. i had so much fun with them, it's just like the old times, my childhood life won't be complete without them after all, i don't think i'll be able to forget monopoly,jackstone,piko, and fishball, these are the things
that completed our days then. anyway, i'm planning to spend some time with the capili family again, anytime sooner i guess while len is still single hehe, i don't think pau would allow her to be our activity partners pa din ni ness, not when both of us are haunting, err looking lol.

* everything is set already for the tagaytay trip next weekend, i'm really looking forward to it since it's been almost a year that i've visited tagaytay, plus i just knew that i'll be having so much fun,
with those peeps who'll be joining the trip, i've got no doubt. the place wherin we'll stay is very nice too, if everything will be fine, i might suggest that place as well to our scheduled family outing by june.

* everyone is getting maried...i dunno' why, i'm happy for them though, at least now i know that some almost fairy tales stories really do come true, hindi man sa 'kin, at least to my loved ones...

* it's aba's birthday on sunday, feb 13th, family gathering again huh. aba is my 4th sis, and my newly found roommate hehehe. she may not be the prettiest among all of us, but i believe that she's the most intelligent one, very maabilidad, and very tough. she's the independent and the most quiet one, that's why i'm happy to have her as my new roommate, we just complement each other so much hehehe, i talk a lot, she listens so much, i'm cheering for san miguel, she'll go for ginebra no matter what, i'm opinionated and tactless, she's diplomatic, and cautious. love you girl! as promised, as soon as i fix my sched, we'll have bonding session. basta, no boyfriend muna huh!

another one!

2005-02-10T01:55:00.000-08:00

1. You are mostly known as? CHELO
2. Most people think you are? SNOB?! AND FUNNY
3. Do you believe in soulmates? IF YOU MEAN "THE ONE" YOU'RE GONNA MARRY....NO.
4. Do you think love is always enough? MAYBE NOT
5. Single or taken? ERR..NEXT QUESSI PLS.
6. Are you still friends with your ex/s? NOPE, WE CAN NEVER BE FRIENDS
7. Unforgettable letters that u ever received? WOW...SO MANY OF THEM.
8. Who is your biggest crush? DANNY SEIGLE
9. First crush in college? BF OF ANNA HAHAHA
10. First favorite song? I HATE THIS QUESTION, I CAN NEVER ANSWER IT...I HAVE LIKED SO MANY SONGS IN MY LIFE!!
11. Favorite soundtrack? 50 FIRST DATES
12. The latest band/singer that u like? MANY EH
13. Boy bands? NEVER LIKED EM, AND I'M PROUD OF IT HAHA
14. Rock bands? NADA
15. Give one word that best describes what you're feeling now? EXCITED
16. Person who is always there when you're bored? JUNZ
17. Name 5 people you saw yesterday.. WELL, THERE ARE ALREADY MORE THAN 5 PEOPLE IN MY HOUSE, SO...
18. When you were little, what did you want to be? A NUN, THEN A LAWYER, NOW A PRE-SCHOOL TEACHER
19. Who did you last go out with? FRANCIS ATA, LAST THURSDAY AT PODIUM
20. Who was the last person to text you? I'VE NO CLUE, I JUST HEARD A MESSAGE ALERT TONE ON MY PHONE A FEW MINUTES AGO BUT I HAVEN'T CHECKED IT
21. What time did you sleep last night? 10-ISH
22. What's your happy thought? SHOPPING, HOUSE, OUT OF TOWN TRIPS, DINNER WITH FRIENDS, FOOD, BASKETBALL
23. What makes you happy? ANOTHER WAY OF ASKING SOMETHING YOU JUST ASKED...READ AGAIN
24. What makes you sad? INJUSTICE, BETRAYAL, LOSSES
25. What would you like to have right at this very second that seems totally impossible? A BILLION DOLLARS, DANNYS SEIGLE FOR A HUSBAND, TALENT OF PAPA IN COOKING, ALICIA SILVERSTONE'S WARDROBE IN CLUELESS, GIFT GATE

*************

1.Would you marry for money? NAH
2.Have you had braces? PLANNING TO HAVE ONE PA LANG
3.Could you live without a computer? PROBABLY, BUT I CANT IMAGINE HOW IT'D BE
4.If you could live in any past time period where would it be? 1980-1990
5.Do you drink enough water? DEFINITELY, MORE THAN ENOUGH ACTUALLY
6.Do you wear shoes in the house or take them off? TAKE OFF
7.What are your favorite fruits? CHICO AND BANANA
8.What is your favorite place to visit? ANYWHERE ABROAD, OR BORACAY, PALAWAN, BOHOL, TAGAYTAY
9. Are you photogenic? SOMETIMES
10.Do you dream in color or black and white? COLOR
11.Why do you take surveys? ONE WORD...BOREDOM
12.Do you drink alcohol? RARELY, LOW ALCOHOL TOLERANCE AKO EH!
13. What is the most beautiful language? BODY LANGUAGE, HAHA! REALLY, I THINK ALL LANGUAGES SOUND BEAUTIFUL IF SPOKEN FLUENTLY
14. Do you like being kissed when you are asleep? BEFORE...SOMETIMES, YEAH, EVEN THE THOUGHT OF IT IS SWEET. OTHER TIMES I'D JUST GET ANNOYED I DON'T WANNA BE DISTURB
15. Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most? EITHER ONE OF THEM
16. Do you want to live to be 100? DEPENDS
17. Is a flat stomach important to you? OF COURSE, EVEN IF I DONT REALLY HAVE IT HAHA!!
18. Are you tolerant of other people's beliefs? OF COURSE...!
19.When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off? ON PA RIN
20. Do you believe in magic? NAH
21.Do you think you can draw well? I USED TO DRAW REALLY WELL WHEN I WAS YOUNG, THEN I JUST STOPPED DOODLING AND ALL THAT
22.Do you like to watch cartoons? NOPE
23.At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn't real? I CAN'T REMEMBER ANYMORE
24.Do you write poetry? SOMETIMES
25.Do you snore? NOPE
26.You sleep more on your back, front, or sides? FRONT
27.Would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler? ROTTWEILER!!!
28.Are you basically a happy person? OVER-ALL...YUP!
29.Are you tired? RIGHT NOW? NO...
30. Did you drink anything with caffeine in it today? NOPE
31. Have you ever met the someone that u met from the net? NOPE
32. How many phones do you have in your house? RIGHT NOW...2
33. Do you get along with your parents? ALWAYS WITH PAPA, SOMETIMES WITH MAMA
34. Do u smoke? NOPE
35. If you're gonna talk to someone today, who would it be?

i'm bored-surveys!

2005-02-10T01:27:00.000-08:00

1. Call me - CHELO, OR CHEL, IT'S MORE MALAMBING
2. What color of pants are you wearing right now? - BLACK
3. What Are You Listening To Right Now? - I'D STILL SAY YES, FREESTYLE'S VERSION
4. What Was The Last Thing You Ate? - SOUP W/CRUNCHY MUSHROOM
5. Do You Believe In Karma? - TOTALLY
6. If You Were A Crayon, what color would you be?- PASTEL COLORS
7. How Is The Weather Right Now?- GLOOMY
8. Last Person You Talked To On The Phone? - LUNCHTIME--JUNZ
9. Do You Like The Person Who Sent You This? - OF COURSE!
10. How Are You Today? - FINE AND LAX
11. Favorite Drink? - ICED TEA, ANY CHOCOLATE DRINK
12. Favorite Alcoholic Drink? - BAILEYS, TEQUILLA, VODKA ICE
13. Favorite Sports - TO WATCH: BASKETBALL TO DO: BADMINTON AND SWIMMING
14. Hair Color? - BLACK FOREVER
15. Eye Color? - BLACK
16. Favorite Band? - A LOT...
17. Favorite Actor & Actress? - JIM CAREY, RENEE ZELLWEGER, RICHARD GERE, JULIA ROBERTS, DREW BARRYMORE
18. Favorite Months?- BER MONTHS
19. Favorite Food?- SEAFOOD, SWEETS, PASTA
20. Last Movie You Watched? - SHALL WE DANCE
21. Favorite Day of the Year? - IT VARIES EVERY YEAR
23. What Was Your Favorite Toy As A Child? - A LOT...BARBIES, WALKING DOLL, CANDY CANDY I THINK
24. Summer or Winter?- WINTER, I DUNNO WHY
25. Hugs Or Kisses? - BOTH
26. Chocolate Or Vanilla? - CHOCOLATE PLEASE
27. What Is Under Your Bed? - NOTHING...I SHOULD HOPE...
28. Friend You Have Had The Longest? - LEN AND NESS
29. What Did You Yesterday? - OFFICE-WENT TO DUTY FREE FOR THE MASS-OFFICE-HOME
30. Favorite Smells?- COOKIES BAKING, FOOD COOKING, FLOWERS
31. Who Inspires You? - JESUS CHRIST, MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS
32. What Are You Afraid Of? - THE DARK, UNEXPECTED DEATH, REJECTION, FAILURE, RATS (OH PLEASE)
33. Plain, Buttered Or Salted Popcorn? - CHEESE-FLAVORED
34. favorite flower? - TULIPS, I JUST DON'T APPRECIATE ROSES
35. Number Of Keys On Your Key Ring? - ONE LANG HAHA
36. Favorite Days Of The Week? - FRIDAY AND SATURDAY

**********

1.1st time you tried smoking:-- TRIED, I THINK 8 YEARS AGO, NEVER LIKED IT THOUGH
2. 1st alcoholic drink you had:-- RED WINE FOR MY DEBUT HAHAHA
3. 1st time you entered a bar:-- SENIOR YEAR HIGH (HARD ROCK I THINK)
4. 1st award you received:-- HAVE I RECEIVED AN AWARD? HMN HAHAHA
5. 1st hero:-- SUPERMAN
6. 1st time you were sent to the principal fordisciplinary actions:-- 2ND YEAR HIGHSCHOOL---PETTY VIOLATION SUCH AS WEARING OF KNITTED SOCKS
7. 1st goal you accomplished:-- RECITING A POEM IN FRONT OF A BIG CROWD
8. 1st crush?-- OUR NEIGHBOR THEN I THINK, I REFUSED TO REMEMBER THE NAME THOUGH
9. 1st person whom you gave flowers:-- I DONT THINK I EVER GAVE ANYONE FLOWERS...
10.1st friend:-- LEN AND NESS
11.1st kiss:-- HMN GIRL OR BOY? lol
12. 1st record you bought:-- INTROVOYS HAHAHA!
13. 1st song you sang infront of many people:-- TELL ME..IT WAS SORT OF A PUNISHMENT, IN FRONT OF THE CLASS
14. first musical instrument you learned to play:-- PIANO
15. 1st local&foreign concert you watched:-- I THINK MENUDO
16. 1st celebrity you saw in person:-- CIARRA SOTTO, BALLET CLASS
17. 1st TV show you really liked:-- CARE BEARS
18. 1st buk u bought:-- I GUESS SWEET VALLEY TWINS
19. 1st sport you played:-- SWIMMING...
20. 1st sleepover:-- CHLOE'S PLACE
21. 1st terrible fight:-- WITH MY COUSINS I THINK, LONG LONG AGO
22. 1st inaanak (first godchild?):-- KATHRINA, ATE KAREN'S ELDEST DAUGHTER
23. 1st debut (filipino girly 18th bday party)party you attended:-- FIRST YEAR COLLEGE, I FORGOT WHOSE, THERE WERE SO MANY EH...
24. 1st bestfriend/s-- LEN
25. 1st wedding you attended:-- TITA SUSAN'S WEDDING
26. 1st person who greeted you on your lastbday:-- IT'S ALGEN
27. 1st friend in friendster:-- MARICOR
28. 1st cellphone:-- SOME NOKIA I-FORGOT-THE-MODEL
29. 1st cellphone ringtone:-- I CAN'T REMEMBER ANYMORE
30. 1st collection:-- CANDY CANDY STUFF AND WALKING DOLLS
31. 1st tym u saw a ghost?-- NEVER DID, NEVER HAVE, AND I HOPE NEVER WILL
32. 1st rollercoaster ride?-- I'M KINDA CORNY, I'M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS AND I HAVE YET TO FIND THAT SOMEONE WHO WOULD MAKE ME RIDE INTO ONE
33. 1st ambition:-- NUN, TEACHER, LAWYER
34.1st thing u will buy w/ ur 1st salary?-- I THINK I BOUGHT ICE CREAM FOR THE PEEPS IN THE HOUSE, SORT OF A TREAT

and he missed me too!!!

2005-01-24T19:13:00.000-08:00

yey, i was able to chat with my guy buddy a while ago, no less than the major character in the psst...i miss you na thingie.

we were chatting when he told me to hold on since he'd read my recent entries in blog first, well, i told him that i just hoped that the one i'm referring to in that entry's not that dense, there he said, he missed me too, how conceited huh, hehehe, very him! (not gettin' on his head, at least that's what he said, fine).

and yes, i can't wait to talk to you again buddy=)

no to skinheads

2005-01-20T16:03:00.000-08:00

i dunno what's with me but i've always been fascinated with skinheads, maybe because they give me this rebellious, non-conformist, laidback, playful aura, and knowin' me, i'm sucker for bad boys err naughty boys rather. now, what's with the sayin'opposite attracts?

i know i'm not very nice, but if you're definition of a good girl means someone who doesn't smoke, is not alcoholic, not a slut, always been a papa's girl, can't pass through a church without doin' sign of the cross, rersponsible, has stable job, is people oriented, loves her family so much, value her friends...then i could say that i've been basically good all my life. i don't claim to be perfect, not even close, but i definitely know when to go and when to stop, when i'm needed, and when i'm not.

i have my moments as well, i'm kinda bitchy, i'm frank, blunt, and bold. i'm transparent, i could never be cool whenever somethings bothering me, people say i'm also too smart to overanalyze everything i tend to forget what does my heart say. i'm complicated, i'm unpredicatable, i'm impulsive, decisive, and childish at times, i easily get hurt, but i easily forgive as well, i'm playful, i'm a tease, i always find myself starting something i really don't have the intention to end, i'm coward, i'm dependent, and i cry a lot, i'm egoistic and i don't bet what i can't afford to lose. i love to argue, and i could be very makulit, i'm not the type of person who always say yes, i'm assertive, even aggressive at times, me being submissive... i'd say goodluck, that would be the day!

so you see, my preference for bald guys has something to do wth my personality, maybe i need someone who could tolerate my playfulness but would be able to control me when it's too much already. i need someone i can depend on, since i'm kinda dependent and scared. i'd like to be with someoene who doesn't care what other people say as long as he's right and not hurting other people. i'd like to be with someone who's firm, and one who listens,someone i could discuss anything with, from ragnarok to our country's governement, someone who could tame me, and one whom i could tame in return.

i had my share of dating stories with these bald guys, and i don't think that after all that i've been through with them, i'd still stick to my fetish, i just don't think it would work, it's just a bad combination, it couldn't even forward to the next level, and i must say that this time, it's for real.

so skinheads... no more

btw funny when i went home last week, i just found myself staring on a skinhead, after a minute or so, reality hit me that the one i'm looking at is my dad, and promise, i won't admit to death that damn he looked good sporting that new image, no wonder mom gets kilig everytime dad tease him...ewwww... like mom, like daughter?!

psst... i miss you na!

2005-01-20T01:00:00.000-08:00

coming from an exclusive school for girls almost all my life made me kinda uptight and tense whenver i'm relating with the opposite sex, one of the not so major difficulties i am experiencing whenever i get to conduct a training.

not that i'm scared of guys, actually i could name, well, a few whom i could share my deepest and darkest secrets with, not that it's many. but you know being close to my guy buddies made me somehow protective regarding their so called lovelife, i could even pass as their moms, but then, as long as their happy, no prob with me...

so what am i up to? well...i just miss a guy buddy, it's been a while since i last talked to him, and though he's claiming to be just busy with school stuff and some family thingie, a part of me is tampo pa din...

nevertheless, there are things i wanna say to him, (well, being so egoistic and all, i rarely express my gratitude to someone, it's just not my thing)i'd like to thank him for being so patient, i know i've been a nag, especially during times i was at his car, for putting up to all my demands, i always end up acting like a brat, for being so honest, he has his own way of saying things to me without being offensive, for making me less conceited, he's right, a little competition with others won't hurt...and for making me feel like a queen, even if most of the time, i don't act like one...

oist, i miss you na!

baclaran church

2005-01-19T23:52:00.000-08:00

since i'm not really that busy at work (not that i always am, i might as well put into writing some of my thoughts, regardless if it's good or bad..nyay!

i went to baclaran church yesterday, i dunno why, i just felt that i had to, thus finding myself in front of the church, murmuring some wishful thinking only me can decipher. i just felt sad, lonely, alone, pathetic yesterday, i felt i had to go somewhere that though i wasn't that familiar with the area, i got all the courage i had to commute alone once again, i wasn't that bad yesterday, i didn't ask for any direction, i guess it was because at the back of my mind, i was so eager and decided as to where i was up to (i must be so lonely then!).

well, i didn't really enter the church per se, i settled instead to the little chapel wherein you could light as many candles as you want, i got 6 candles, and lighted it one by one, with a little prayer in each aspect of my life (i won't go into details anymore, 'twas a secret already between me and the big boss above).

suffice to say, i felt great after that, putting my excess baggage behind, letting go of those not so good events, situations, and even people, for me to be able to start a merry new year (hey, chinese new year is yet to come so i was not really so late for this stuff), i promised a lot of things as well, and i just hope i'd be able to keep all of it, i just knew that i will...

catching up...

2005-01-19T23:24:00.000-08:00

well, it's been a while since i last visited my blog, it doesn't necessarily mean though that there's nothing really intersting that's happenning to me, actualy 'twas the opposite, it would take so much space, not to mention time if i get to list all of it, hmn....

last december was a busy month for me...why not, when all i had almost everyday was dinner with different set of friends not to mention those family gatherings i was forced to attend (i just so hated those family reunion thingie, it just put so much pressure on me with regards to the couple, marriage thing but then again that's a different story), well,i was just so glad to have spent some quality moments with some of my most fave people, seein' old friends and all that always gives me mixed emotions, joy that after all these years, we remained in touch with one another, glad that we were able to find time just so we could make kwento regarding the most recent events in our lives, sad because it gave me that feelin' of emptiness knowin' that some of them are contented and looks very much fulfilled with their married life, seein' their kids makes me wonder if i'll be havin' some too, i'll get into that..i'll get into that...hayy, but before anything else, i have to find the would be father of my kids first...tsk, tsk, tsk...

loving my work..and all that...

2004-10-08T01:03:00.000-07:00

I'm so bored at work, though this is not the first time i get to feel this way, i'm still not used to it. Don't get me wrong, I am a trainer-by profession, and how I love it. But of course, with my nature of work, it's seasonal, there are days wherein you can't even have a break anymore because of piled modules you have to customize, but more often than not, are times wherein you're so lax, you'll die of much idle time. I always wanted to be a teacher, a job majority of people despise because it won't give you lots of money, won't even give you fame, what other people don't realize is that it's the kind of work which gives much fulfillment to a person's life. I'm getting sentimental again, but what I can do, I'm a certified feeling person. Being a Trainer somehow made my dream come true, i'm into teaching, telling stories, sharing experiences, knowledge and theories, and most important of all, I get to touch peoople's lives without them knowing it. I've been with this job for almost 5 years already, but never did I felt any regret i've chosen this field. The job description suits my personality and work style--being people oriented and being capable of communicating with different kinds of people, I know I could never go wrong. The pay is good, compensation is better, not to mention it satisfies maslow's hierarchy of needs, if only workload will be more tight, and hectic...well, bored..that's what I am now..."la la la la la la...

My First

2004-10-06T23:23:00.000-07:00

Wow, i still can't believe i have my own blog already, i mean i've heard about it about a hundred times but it's only now i got so interested, i created my own.

And since this is my first entry, i would like to write something about my buddy who made this thing possible, ok, i must admit i got envious after reading his blog, i decided rightaway i should have one too...

Thanks Kiko (you know i'm not used in calling you Anche, it's just too girly, soft and weak for me)for introducing me to the blogworld, from the moment I was able to chat with you at chatzy, I knew right there and then that we'll be friends, you see that's something you have to be proud of, after all it's not everyday i get to be that friendly with a total stranger hahaha! I can't thank you enough for all the laughters we've shared, you're just way too funny i dunno' where you got that talent. Thanks for your sensitivity, you surely know when to talk and when to listen, you always have the right words to say and you have your own way of saying things in a direct manner without being offensive. Thanks for your patience, i know i could be bitch goddess at times but still you manage to keep my feet on the ground by letting me understand the ways of life. Thanks for getting in touch from time to time, it doesn't matter if it's just a plain hi or hello, i want you to know i do appreciate it.

With this, I can't wait anymore to fill my blogsite with lots of ideas, memories, opinions, and stories...happy reading, ciao!